The fifth grade

In grade five, I was going to school in Jamaica. It was a private school where we wore uniforms and our parents paid for the expensive tuition. The class size range from fifteen to sixteen students per teacher and there were only two classes of fifth graders. Everyone knew each other for a long time, except for me. I was not new to the school but new the class

Before I entered the fifth grade, I’ve been attending Harrison Preparatory, a secondary school for six years. I was in the fourth for the first half of the year but then switch to the fifth grade for the second half of the year. This happened because when I was registering for the school at the age of five, my father put that I was born November 1st, 2000 but I was actually born November 1st, 1999. I remember telling the secretary that I was five but I guess she did not believe me because I was a kid. I was a kid who knows her stuff.

I realize that I was in the wrong grade when two other boys got upgraded to five grade because they were eleven. I was one to two years older than the other kids. When I told the secretary this information she did not believe me. But when I told my fourth teacher she believed me and advise me to stay in the grade five class. I did what she said and stayed. It was a mess because I went back and forth between two grades for three weeks and in those three weeks everyone except for my mom was also confused about my birth year. Some thought I was born in 2001, others thought I was born 2000. Even my aunt was sure that I was born 1998 and claim that my mother was wrong like she was there when my mother was giving birth.

Turns out my mother and I was right. I was born November 1st, 1999, I was eleven years old and I should be in the fifth grade. I had my birth certificate to back me up which took three weeks to find. In the third week, I told my friends in the fourth grade that I was officially transferred to grade five. They were sad and wish that I could stay in their grade. I understand how they felt because I was in the same grade with the same people for five and a half years. I also was going to miss them but, I was honestly happy because I was one step instead of two steps closer to graduate. Some people in my grade five class were nice enough to welcome me in their grade and told me that I can hang out with them just in case my friends were not my friends anymore. I assure them that I am fine and that my friends will never abandon me. So I thought.

My first two weeks of the fifth grade was difficult because the school work was very difficult. I was very lost which made me gave up easily. I felt out of place because I wasn’t at that educational understanding and some of my friends were not my friends anymore. I found this out when I tried to hang out with them at lunchtime. I went to our usual spot that I found a few years back when one of them had the audacity to tell me that I do not belong there.

“Nobody from grade five is allowed here” while looking me in my eyes and twisting her head.

“No it’s ok Shanique can stay, anno fi har fault dat she inna grade five” said a real friend, Sam. At that moment, I was shocked but not surprised because I knew this girl lowkey didn’t like me but she never showed her true colors. They didn’t know it yet but she was the ringleader and they followed and did whatever she does or whatever she asked. She did not like me because I wasn’t a follower. She was the ringleader because people thought she was very mature and a smart little girl. When Harrison prep students saw that in someone, they automatically trusted that person with their life. In this situation, I knew it was best to walk away. I stayed there for a little to comfort my friend then left. I could have made a scene but I was too mature for that. At eleven I always thought I was mature when I was not.

“Shanique yu alright, yu no yu can par wid we if yu want ” said Tasha a girl in the fifth grade.I lied and told her that I was O.K

A week later I took the girl on her offer. I started to hang out with her and my new classmates. I told myself that this experience is not a fresh start but a new beginning. It was nice for a while but damn, these fifth graders love drama. All they would talk about was other people business. I am not going to lie, I liked listening to drama but I knew not to talk about anyone or tell any secret. At a young age, I believe that I was wise and that my mind was older than my age. When it was “mixup and blenda time” all I did was smile, listen and play dumb because I knew that if my mother or father or my grandmother heard that I was in drama instead of my school work, the belt will become my entertainment.

Smile, listen and playing dumb was not easy especially if you are constantly asked “who do you like, who don’t you like, what do you think about her, what do you think about him, did you hear about……” One day I gave into one of these questions “Who do you like?” This question was asked by Rick, the person who I like. He was taller than me, older than me, light skin, smooth skin, funny, popular and had a nice personality, so I thought. I thought all those qualities in a boy makes him a man or made him more desirable than others. I told him that I like him and we became boyfriend and girlfriend that same minute. I told him not to tell anyone because I knew that people were not mature enough to know about relationships and will turn this into drama. I guess Shanique knew about relationships at eleven years old.

One week later people found out because I told this “can’t keep a secret girl” that I liked him and she told his ex, Beyonce. I was scared for my life because Beyonce was a ringleader and if she has a problem with you the grade has a problem with you. When Beyonce heard about this news she walked up to me and gave me permission to date her ex-boyfriend like I asked for it. In this moment I told my eleven year old self it’s ok, don’t pay her any attention at least you know where you stand, you don’t need her permission. Some time past by and a rumor got out that I kissed my twelve-year-old boyfriend. It was not true because I believe in this song: Boy and girl kissing in the tree K.I.S.S.I.N.G, first come love second come marriage then comes baby in a big fat carriage. Beyonce was very upset when she heard the rumor. She called me all types of names and was saying things that an eleven-year-old girl should not be saying. Like “go suck your muda”

In Harrison Prep we really thought we were grown. We thought that we knew it all and that we were the best at teaching someone a lesson. Beyonce wanted to teach me that boys only think about themselves, I am nothing to Rick just like she was nothing to him and bad things happen when you go against the leader. To teach me these lessons she and her friends jump me and told me not to fight back because your boyfriend is supposed to fight for you. I did not believe one word. But I did not fight back because their punches were weak, I wanted to see if she was right about Rick and I knew that it was best not to fight fire with fire. I strongly believed in Karma and I believed that one day these people will get what they gave. That incident only made me break up with Rick for three days and the girls were happy for those three days. For those three days, they were “my friends”. After the three days, I went back to Rick because I knew what was best for me at eleven, so I thought.

On a Friday, the whole class found out that I was still with Rick. Some people in the class decide to gang up on me. At that moment, I realize that the main reason why the girls did not like me was that they liked Rick. They became Beyonce soldiers because they were fighting for the same reason. They would say: Yah a idiat, em nuh like yu. Lef em. Yu so dumb” Then they ranted how I was dumb because I was doing poorly in my class. “What’s 2×2? what 4×4? what 16×16? Si, you cah even ansa dat, idiat gal” This girl ask me these question to prove her point. If you could not go up to 65,536 you were below them. The boys in the class followed because they liked me. They only gang up on me to ask questions like: “Why him? Really Shanique, You could do so much better. Don’t worry I’ll protect you” All these comment made the girls even more upset. All I did in this situation was Smile, listen and play dumb because at eleven years old I knew trouble loves company. People saw this as weakness and even told me to defend myself against them but I did nothing to fume the fire.

Me being the center of attention died down over a couple of months. A new girl came in our grade, people liked her, the boys really like her, Rick cheated on me with her, the boys and the girls hated her, they also realize that she’s not the smartest, rumors were spreading then she became the center of attention.

I learned a lot of things about myself and about people, but I wouldn’t experience these things if my classmates and I just think like a child and not as an adult. We thought we were grown because we were close to graduating. Instead of focusing on my work I gave my energy to the wrong things. But in all honesty, I did not regret anything because life is just an experience that shows you who you are or who you’re going to become.